that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
