hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
