oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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