try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
