Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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