I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
