Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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