He is an equal opportunity slut.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
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Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize