and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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