So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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