theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
