He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
