Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
