Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize