can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
