Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
