butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
