**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
