he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize