Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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