Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
