after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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