I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
