This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
