Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize