dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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