is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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