you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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