sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
