we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
