when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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