I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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