I'm going to jail i love you
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
