He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
