last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize