dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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