Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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