just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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