If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
