Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize