His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
