what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
