we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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