Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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