Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
