we made out on top of his cat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?