Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something