I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
