I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos