His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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