the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
