I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
