I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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