so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
