Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize