whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
