So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
