there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
