Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
