new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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