Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
